Scrutiny can make us feel worse…
The human brain evolved to be a problem solving machine...feeling vulnerable - find a cave, feeling cold - make a fire. A lot of the time this strategy works very well for us in modern life...feeling bored at work - find a new job, feeling out of breath when you climb the stairs - join a gym.
But sometimes it causes us difficulty when we apply this strategy to our internal states of mind and mood. For some issues there may be a logical problem solving solution...feeling lonely - join an art class. But what happens when we don't "click" with anyone, feel rejected or a gnawing sense of loneliness continues?
Often our brain will return to what it knows how to do - it problem solves some more... We can find ourselves exhausted from the mental effort, frustrated at our lack of progress, and despairing that things will ever change.
The scrutiny that our mind brings to the original problem can maintain and increase our distress, adding layers of negative emotions until we feel overwhelmed.
It is like if you have a pimple on your face. If you go right up to the mirror and stare hard at the pimple - in your mind's eye it becomes enormous - it is literally all you can see.
Now imagine staring at the pimple for hours and hours - you are likely to start over estimating the importance of the pimple in your life, you mood is likely to fall, you may feel anxious of what other's will think of you.
However, if you step away from the mirror to the other side of the room - well you can still see the pimple in the mirror if you look hard enough. But now you can see the rest of your face, your hair, and your whole body. In fact now you can see all the things in the room around you too. Suddenly the pimple is in a much bigger context. It is still there, but not as big and dominant in your world. It is likely to have a much smaller impact on your mood.
We can teach our mind to "zoom out" from a problem, as soon as we noticed we have become "stuck" with our thoughts going round and round in circles.
Even in the toughest of times there are small instances of joy and beauty around us. Take time to notice a droplet of rain on your window, notice the way it reflects light and colour and wonder about the journey of that one drop of rain. Pick any object around you and contemplate all the things that had to happen in order to bring it into existence. Bring your attention to something beautiful - a leaf, then sunlight, the sound of people laughing.
We zoom out not to ignore the problem or difficulty, but rather to help put the issue back into perspective. To remind ourselves we are more than our problem.
Try it out the next time you feel stuck - you may be surprised that your problem resolves itself without your effort, or perhaps a new solution will "pop" into your mind when you aren't expecting it.
Practice training your mind to zoom out and notice positive and hopeful things around you.